Sunday, January 29, 2012
2. Dogs. Hate. Crutches.
I guess from their level my crutches resemble steel robot legs. Skinny, cold, terrifying, robot legs. This is the only explanation for the choruses of barking I have been met with when I’ve been out in the world this past week. As we know, there is little that truly terrifies dogs more than the idea of a robot-led apocalypse. I think it’s because the pooches know that their adorable faces will have no affect on their new robot masters. Their plaintiff whines and slobbery kisses will do nothing to ingratiate them to the T-1000s, who will rule our streets literally with iron fists. If anything, the machine overlords won’t stand for their high-pitched doggy voices or their rust-creating doggy slobber. When you really think about it, the dogs potentially have more to fear about robots taking over then humans do. So all things considered, I have to respect the dogs for standing their ground with me. Fight the power you brave little canines…fight it.
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robots vs dogs. new action movie starring Robocop vs Marmaduke? wicked!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, there is an untapped animal-action hybrid movie genre just waiting to be exploited!
ReplyDeletethis post made me laugh for about 45 seconds, until I realized the absolute truth of it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you referenced T-1000. Once SkyNet becomes sentient and sends waves of robot hordes after us, dogs will be used to distinguish humans from human-impersonating machines.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Lauren, I love you. Thank you for inviting me to your hilarious world.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, Jordan, clearly you appreciate how useful dogs can be in regards to an impending apocalypse. Therefore, for bringing Lucy into our home, I say, you're welcome.