Thursday, February 16, 2012

10. I think today is a slow news day...

Upon hearing the sad news of Neil Hope's death (he played Wheels on Degrassi), I had a few questions. Apparently Hope passed 5 years ago at the age of 35 due to "natural causes". I don't know about anyone else, but I'd say it's pretty unnatural to die at 35. Isn't that the time that your back just starts to bother you and your nose hair starts growing faster?

It also seems odd to me that this is just being announced now. Is this some kind of publicity stunt and tomorrow we'll actually find out he's alive, well and the brand new host of Canada's Got Talent?

Regardless, I thought to myself "it must be a slow news day". So I decided to look up some news sites and see what else is going on in the world today. My results?

1. Apparently a female Tasmanian Devil had some kind of weird face cancer back in the day and now Tasmanian Devils are still getting sick and dying from it. I don't know about anyone else but I'm glad that someone is finally speaking out about Tasmanian Devil Face Cancer. February 16th, 2012 is clearly the day to start the dialogue about this serious issue. I will be wearing a turquoise ribbon from now on to raise awareness about Tasmanian Devil Face Cancer. If we take a stand today and speak out, we can put an end to Tasmanian Devil Face Cancer. One Tasmanian Devil face at a time.
(NOTE: I don't wish Tasmanian Devils or any other animal on the planet ill, I'm just demonstrating that today is the weirdest news day ever.)

2. A PetCo pet groomer in Hawaii accidentally cut off a dog's ear and then superglued it back on and returned the pet to his owner. A dog is not a mug, you idiot.

Other BIG items in the news today:

-It's been discovered that Santorum drove an Audi in 2008. SCANDAL!
-There is a probe into Whitney Houston's death. Prescription drugs were potentially a factor. SHOCKING!
-Jeremy Lin FINALLY has an apartment in New York. In Trump Towers. FINALLY!!

Oh and there was a fire in a Prison in Honduras

Most of the people incarcerated hadn't even been charged with any crimes. 358 are confirmed dead making this the world's deadliest prison fire in over 100 years.

But who wants to talk about that?

Or the UN accusing Syria of crimes against humanity including using hospitals for torture?

No, those aren't pressing news items. In fact, I had to dig to find them. They were buried behind stories of Julia Roberts' new movie and Randy Travis' arrest video being released. But they're really not "important" or "relevant" stories anyway. Right? OH! BREAKING NEWS! Fat Joe lost a lot of weight! Now THAT'S something worth talking about! (Kill me.)


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